no more hiding, i'm out here.

I've always been known as the weird guy,
even when i was a kid, i would just dry hump some bushes,
and the other kids would like at me and say i was weird.
or walked around naked with only a towel on my head,
and pretend i was a woman, and again, i would be called weird.

and it kept going, when i went to high school,
i mostly tagged along with the girls, and i would be called 'faggot' or 'gay', or just 'weirdo' or 'freak',
and those words always hurted so much,
and eventually i couldn't take it anymore, and i changed schools.

at the second school, things seemed better, people called me less 'faggot' or somehing like that, but they still did,
because i still tagged along with the girls in classes or in the breaks,
and sometimes i would defend myself, and i would yell at them,
but they would just laugh even harder, and it begun to hurt more and more,
until i got into a depression, and things got so much worse, i felt worse, and i looked down on myself, and always said to myself "you're a nobody, you are a freak" and i would believe myself,
and nobody noticed i felt worse, and i just kept on going with hating myself,
but then, my parents noticed, and some changes were made and i got better, for a while.

Things got a little better, i passed my years, and then i started to like rock music, and listen to it even more and more,
and my clothing style changed to rock, or at least, that's what i thought, but i started to dress the way i felt,
but i started to notice some changes in the way i felt about love, i noticed a change in my sexuality,
and i got all confused, but i ignored it and just lived my life.

I passes my year, and i met someone, a guy, and i had feelings for him, and i was ready, to come out, and i did, and things majorly changed then, and not in the good way,
people gossiped, my family overreacted, i got used, and i started to feel worse and worse again, and i got into another depression,
and i went to a shrink, and talked about my feelings.

And then, i saw her, the woman that changed my life, the woman that inspired me, the woman that made me realize, the woman that forced me to look at myself in the mirror, and to keep looking until i was happy with what i saw.

Things got much better, my life was on track again, i knew who i was again.
and sometimes i had some big ups and some big downs, but i never gave up. sure, sometimes i wanted to give up so badly because i was still the freak, i was still the weirdo, i was definitely the faggot, and it hurted, and it was a challenge to be at school every day, but she gave me hope, and she inspired me,
and whatever happened, i listened to her, and she would cheer me up, i would feel powerful again, i would feel whole again,
and i am in love with that woman, i would do everything for her, i gave myself a new purpose:

i am here to live a life, to live my life. i am here to help others, to inspire others. i am here to express myself, because i am human too. i feel attracted to men and women, and i don't label myself, i have an open mind. i am here to stay, i will not hide anymore, i am out here, and you will have to live with it, i am a monster.

thank you lady gaga,